Relapse

There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless. And all we want, is more.  

     As a confident and well known person, I don't struggle with acquiring friendships and relationships as I get on with just about everyone I meet. The only problem with this is that I have so many friends and acquaintances that it's hard for me to allocate my time to a few close friends. I have two I can trust my life with and the others fall at a significantly lower level than him. I do so much with my life and having a broad range of interests and a large networking group has its advantages but there's also times (like now) where it's a huge disadvantage.  I feel as if I'm an amazing person but I don't have the time to get to know people enough to where they can see that I am. Very few know my accomplishments in life and no one realizes how great of a person I can be... because I don't give the time to let them. Ultimately, I'm being my own downfall in this situation.

     I never fell into cliques in high school as I was part of everyone's group. I was the geek, the speech nerd, the actor, the yearbook editor, the athlete, etc, every archetype you can think of. Yet, with all these activities I've never found a close tight group of people. In college, I pick up new things, new clubs, new organizations and again, I'm stretching myself so thin that I don't have time for everyone.  I want to make time for people, and not just a certain few people, all people. Anyone who wants to spend time with me. My goal for moving to England is to start over and meet new people and give those people an opportunity to see who I really am. I want to be involved, I do, but I'm going to restrain myself from jumping into every activity and try to focus on making some great friendships. Sounds corny, but, if you haven't noticed, I'm a girl. We do these sorts of things.