Floatin'

Flood of the frickin' century hit Ames, Iowa a few weeks ago encasing the entire eastern part of town in a 4 foot deep lake of shit. The plus side, it drowned out all the terrible drivers by sending their cars blasting down Squaw Creek (which was more like river rapids). I had the most greatest idea to build a pontoon boat out of duct tape and garbage cans and then use a rope to connect my beer tube and just float around and drink beer all day in the sun and go floatin' around Ames. Unfortunately, all of my friends suck and would not partake in this project with me.

I had all these visions of becoming captain of my own pontoon, complete with stern, helm and detachable mess hall.

Now, I have concluded that those wretched flood waters carried some radioactive genome that infiltrated itself into the pollen causing it to go bat shit crazy on my already hyperactive granulocytes. I can't stop sneezing. I scare the crap out of people when I walk behind them and sneeze and believe me, I'm a loud sneezer by nature.

Damn zombie pollen.